


DRAFT 1

by Arithanas



Category: Tom of Finland - Kake
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Unconventional Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:05:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5507606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arithanas/pseuds/Arithanas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Transcript of the only interview ever given by Kake, taken from the historical records of a renowned Publishing House that shall remain nameless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DRAFT 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MotherHulda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherHulda/gifts).



> Many thanks to [alby_mangroves](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alby_mangroves/pseuds/alby_mangroves) for the beta work.

**Conversation No. 001-1**

**Date: February 16, 1977**

**Time: Unknown between 4:33 pm and 8:08 pm**

**Location: [Undisclosed]**

**Participants: Aimo H. Jokinen, “Kake”**

_This is the transcript of the only interview ever given by the world famous sex symbol, Kake. Our investigative reporter, Aimo Jokinen, conducted the interview in a remote location and stressed the reason behind his decision: “If that’s the only way one can get an exclusive, we must risk everything”. This statement was brought up in a Helsinki administrative court in response to a complaint made before the Labor Court that deemed inadmissible any payment of damages and losses by this Publishing House and ruled that our reporter acted at his own risk._

_Furthermore, since the original tape was supposedly destroyed in an unexplained fire at the former premises of this Publishing House, this document is the only confirmed source that can attest the Kake’s existence beyond the tales of our national folklore._

_The management of this Publishing House kept this transcript for record-keeping purposes, “It could be used as a cautionary tale for all the future firebrands that come knocking on our door.”_

 ________________________________________________________________________________________________________

[ _Previous unrelated conversation omitted._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Our public is aching to know: how do you [Kake] make a living off this series of immoral assaults on our youngsters in this country?

 **Kake:** First of all, I can’t agree with the characterization of “immoral assaults”. The young people in our country are taking a brave step and opting for less traditional ways to explore their sexuality without any shame.

 **Jokinen:** Shouldn’t they [feel ashamed]?

 **Kake:** What for? Sex is good, and feels nice.

 **Jokinen:** But the things we have seen in the magazines…

 **Kake:** Part of natural sexual exploration. People should be allowed to do whatever pleases their senses.

 **Jokinen:** Even if that goes against good morals?

 **Kake:** I’ll support good morals when they fulfill people’s lives. Besides, he who hasn’t tried it shouldn’t offer an uneducated opinion.

 **Jokinen:** There are groups that believe such [ _Coughing sound_ ] practices are product of an incomplete [ _Coughing sound_ ] education.

 **Kake:** In some extreme situations, I would agree. Our services can provide better sex education, more sessions of it and more of those topics that really carry weight when two people [ _Censored_ ].

 **Jokinen:** I must ask you to mind your language. My editor will hear this and I don’t want to disregard it because of foul language.

 **Kake:** Forgive me. I’ll be more careful in the future.

 **Jokinen:** How comes? Teaching kids about sex it inevitably will lead to license for sexual activity and from there to unwanted teen pregnancies, STD and....

 **Kake:** I don’t believe so, and you fail to contemplate the important question. this is not about how or when you do sex.

 **Jokinen:** What?

 **Kake:** No, why.

 **Jokinen:** Why?

 **Kake:** Because it you can’t answer that question, you can’t really do anything.

 **Jokinen:** Like the things you do.

 **Kake:** No. Like the things you do.

 **Jokinen:** Excuse me?

 **Kake:** Why did you ask me for an interview?

[ _Short silence._ ]

 **Kake:** See? You must answer why before you care about what, who, and when. Why, as a question, is an essential part of human nature. And I believe I can give you an answer.

 **Jokinen:** Do you think you know better than me why I asked you for an interview?

 **Kake:** Yes.

 **Jokinen:** And what is the answer to the question?

 **Kake:** Because you wanted to meet the legend.

[ _Laughs._ ]

 **Jokinen:** No offense. Yes, you are tall and big and tolerably handsome, but you are far from being a legend.

[ _Ripping, metal sound._ ]

 **Kake:** This legend.

[ _Short silence._ ]

 **Kake:** Yes, you may.

[ _Indistinct wet sounds._ ]

 **Jokinen:** And this…?

 **Kake:** Of course.

 **Jokinen:** Really?

 **Kake:** I can show you.

[ _Long silence._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Yes, please.

[ _Unintelligible shouts. Indistinct thumping sounds. Glass breaking._ ]

 **Jokinen:** You are ripping my [ _Censored_ ] apart!

 **Kake:** Not yet, but soon.

 **Jokinen:** No more!

 **Kake:** Do you want me to stop?

[ _Short silence_ ]

 **Jokinen:** No.

 **Kake:** I’m not even halfway in…

 **Jokinen:** Oh, God…

 **Kake:** Ask properly.

 **Jokinen:** [ _Censored_ ] me in the [ _Censored_ ].

 **Kake:** Like you mean it.

 **Jokinen:** Oh, God.

 **Jokinen:** Oh...

[ _Short silence._ ]

 **Jokinen:** [ _Censored_ ]! Ram your huge [ _Censored_ ] in my tiny [ _Censored_ ]! [ _Censored_ ] me deep!

 **Jokinen:** I need your [ _Censored_ ] in my [ _Censored_ ], Kake!

[ _Whimpering. Heavy breathing._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Your [ _Censored_ ] won’t fit!

 **Kake:** It will fit.

[ _Heavy breathing. Rhythmical thumping._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Don’t stop!  In heaven’s name, don’t stop!

 **Kake:** I’m not planning to.

 **Jokinen:** There! Oh, there, just there!

 **Jokinen:** Harder!

 **Jokinen:** Deeper! Deeper!

 **Jokinen:** Oh, God! I’m [ _Censored_ ]!

[ _Groans. Inarticulate sounds. Footsteps. Door closing. Long silence._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Oh, God…

[ _Short silence._ ]

 **Jokinen:** Please, come back…

[ _End of tape_ ]


End file.
